bluflamingo

I finally, after many (many) years of living in places where I couldn't, now live in a place where I can put out a pumpkin for hallowe'en... and I can't find one for sale anywhere. I am deeply unimpressed with the state of affairs.

On the up side - today is my first day off since 4th October, and, now that I've done laundry, bought food, and cleaned my flat, I'm curled up on my sofa doing nothing very productive. I love free weekend days :o)

In a fit of I don't know what, I've just signed up for apocabigbang, for which I'm thinking I'll write a sequel to Wild Dark Times (the one where the Ori attack and Lorne and Cam have to save the world) with Ford, and Stackhouse, and probably Cadman and... I dunno who else. I feel like there should be more 'grown up' characters than just Cam, but I don't know who. On the other hand, it's not due till February, and I have several other things to write first.

Including my sg-flyboys fic, for which I have *four* ideas already. Last year, I scrambled for months to come up with *one*. And none of them are short either. It's a problem... kind of.

There are two things I really dislike about going on holiday - the three days before I go and the week after I get back, because the former is when I completely panic about everything I haven't got done yet, and the latter is when I realise that there are way too many people out there with my work email address.

Which is a long way of saying - I'm going away on Wednesday morning, back to the lit fest to volunteer, for two weeks, and I did not need today to be quite so much of a Monday. I slept through my alarm, my bus didn't show, I was late for my first meeting, late for my second, went to pick up a pair of jeans and a pair of trousers from the repairer and didn't discover till I got home that they only gave me my jeans, my DVD player decided to die on me (it's two months old!), I sent out a mass email with the wrong month on it, I appear to be broke for no apparent reason and... yeah. Pre-holiday panic, which, sadly, doesn't get any better for me knowing that's what it is.

Also, sign language class starts again tomorrow evening, and I can't remember the sign for 'work,' which is just pathetic.

I'll be so happy when I'm actually at the lit fest, where if nothing else, I'll be too busy to panic any more.

I'll have internet access at the festival, just not a massive amount of time to use it, so if you've got something you urgently need to say to me, or really want a reply to, now's the time to say it :o) Otherwise, see you in a couple of weeks (someone poke me if sign-ups for sg-flyboys open while I'm gone, okay? I'm counting on you guys!)

Ugh, there's nothing like European elections to bring out the crazies. 17 parties on my ballot paper, half of whom I've never heard of and couldn't figure out a thing about. Also (a) the Christian party, who want to bring Jesus to everyone (did I move to America without noticing, no offence? I thought we had the whole politics over here, religion over there thing sorted) and (b) the BNP. In my area, which is something like 48% BME. I mean, in a way I almost admire their optimism, but seriously. I wouldn't be holding my breath, if I was them.

On the other hand, the woman in front of me was in her thirties, probably, British-Asian and not ver fluent in English and voting for the first time. Which was pretty cool - she and her kids were really excited about it.

I just went swimming - got the afternoon off because my community centre is being a polling station and I'm not allowed to set foot in it - and now I just want to curl up and go to sleep. No energy left. Sadly, I have to go to class this evening, so no going to sleep. Sigh.

On the bright side - two weeks, one day and I'm on *holiday*. Actual real, chill out, go away to the seaside holiday. The last time I had an actual holiday was four years ago (although I've had time off work, obviously, it's been to do things, like help at the lit fest or go to a writing course, all of which were good fun but not restful). Also, it will be my first holiday all on my own. Everyone gives me pitying looks when I say that, but actually, I can't wait.

There's something really disturbing about getting a line from a story stuck in your head then realising that

(a) You wrote it
(b) You discussed it, briefly, in comments to the story when you posted it and
(c) You have no blessed clue which story you wrote it in, and there isn't a storyfinders comm for 'help, I forgotmy own story.' Or, I mean, there could be, but it doesn't help when *I can't even remember the fandom*

It's like getting a bit of classical music stuck in your head, and realising you can hardly google for something by humming it to your computer (though how cool would it be if you could?)

Comment on this post. I will choose seven interests from your profile and you will explain what they mean and why you are interested in them. Post this along with your answers in your own journal so others can play along.

sidlj gave me:

1. Criminal Minds

The first episode I saw was the first episode of the second season, so it says something about how much I must have liked the show that I stuck with it despite not only knowing nothing about these people, but also not having seen the first half of that two part episode, and hence knowing nothing about the plot either. Unlike most shows, where there's a couple of characters I really love and the rest I like to varying degrees, I love everyone on this show. Particularly Emily, despite not being all that keen on her to begin with, I think she's awesome (though I was very sad when JJ hooked up with Will, because I was convinced she and Emily should have been together. But now we have - or had - Jordan).

2. Feminism

And I'm sure it's a massive shock to hear I'm a feminist. I've always used that label for myself, for as long as I can remember. I don't understand women who say they aren't. Aside from the ranting, and the date rape research, and the new job in domestic violence and abuse, my most frequent feminist moment is refusing to sit down when a man stands up for me on the bus, so that we both stand the whole way. My mum says I'm being impolite; I say he's being impolite, when I said no thank you politely. We have yet to reach an agreement on this.

3. Theatre

Before I moved to go back to uni, I used to help at a local theatre. Every night for two weeks out of every four, and I loved it. It's the only thing I miss about where I used to live. I did backstage work - stage management, cue board, props, general stage hand - and it was the most fun I've ever had. I was one of a small number of women, and the men there were lovely - very protective, very sweet, very friendly, very willing to offer advice or help. I got hurt there once, a wooden box fell on me, split my lip and turned my hand purple with bruises, and when I went back, it was like walking into one big hug.

I applied to stage school, before I started my masters, to train as a stage manager and didn't get in, and I still want to do that so badly. I', just afraid of being told no again.

4. Ice skating

When we were kids, my mum, my sister and I used to watch the ice dancing competitions, especially Torvil and Dean (who I've seen live, which was very cool). My sister's not such a fan any more, but my mum and I still are. I took skating lessons a couple of years ago, until I fell and hurt my knee, and now can't skate (well, unless something comes of the test results I'm supposed to get this Friday).

5. Gay rights

I kind of hate the phrase, but I believe in the sentiment. I don't believe that having civil partnerships in the UK means we have equal rights for gay people, but I think the biggest problem is the stuff that can't be liegislated for, all the minor abuse you get in the street, and the jokes, and the way it's okay to say derogatory things about gay people. And the people like my dad, who thinks - and will say to my face - that letting gay people serve openly in the US military would be the downfall of their military, and that they should be kept out since people in the military can't handle serving with gay people. Which is offensive to just about everyone involved, not to mention untrue, since, hi, we have openly gay people in the UK military and it seems to be doing fine.

6. CSI:Miami

I was a huge fan of Miami for the first couple of seasons, and then they killed Speed and I stopped watching, since he was really who I watched for. He seemed like he had something interesting going on that we never actually got to see, some big secret. And I liked his friendship with Megan.

Horatio, on the other hand, freaked my the fuck out. He was the kind of guy I'd avoid sitting by on the bus, because he just gave me a bad vibe, even through the TV screen. Also, interesting fact, did you know that the guy who plays him had it written into his contract that he'd never be shown walking into or out of a shot? Watch the show - he's always just there as the camera pans round, and once you notice, you won't be able to stop.

7. Paganism

I'm not strictly speaking a pagan, though it's the closest label I have for my spirituality, but I like the sound of it, the idea of balance and nature. I celebrate Samhain, because there's something about it that feels right to me, but that's about it for 'formal' paganism and me. But I believe in things like fate (well, in an end you're supposed to get to, and a path you can choose for yourself) and in things like divination. And I believe in things that we can't explain yet, like psychic powers and seeing the future; I just can't accept that we're really at the point where we know everything there is to be known, so that we can say these things are impossible. It's like going into space - I just can't believe that we're done with human space travel for exploration of other bodies in space, or that we're done with the moon. There's got to be more out there.

1. Woke up with an itchy throat, now I'm too hot and feel like I'm about to pass out. Isn't March too late to be getting a cold?

2. Why, when people ring up for appointments or advice, do they never, ever have a pen and paper to hand? Wouldn't that be something you'd want to write down?

3. ( Cut for rambling about John, Rodney, Jennifer, Rodney/Jennifer and John/Rodney: )

I know we're not quite at the end of the year, but the chances of me having working internet when we get there are slim, so...

Full-length stories written: 50

Shorts: 11, mostly time-stamp meme fics, plus a whole bunch of tiny comment fics, half of which I don’t think I could find if I had to.

Total word count (including my big bang story): 282,510 words.

Pairing Stats: Slash: 18 John/Cam, 5 John/Rodney, 4 Lorne/Mitchell, 2 John/Lorne, 2 Ronon/Lorne, 1 Colby/Lorne, 1 John/Cam/Lorne, 1 Matt/Mohinder; Femslash: 1 Carter/Cadman, 1 Cadman/Katie Brown, 1 Sora/Teyla, 1 Teyla/Elizabeth, 1 Teyla/Carter, 1 Cadman/Teyla (what does this tell us? That I’m a femslash butterfly).

( And now the rambling )

1. I am victorious over my packing (moving house on new year's eve, yay!), my laundry, my posting of christmas presents and my buying of furniture (including an amy moment* in which I acquired a chest of drawers that would have been £70 including delivery for only £30, because I went by a nice secondhand place). However, I have also packed all my tools away, despite knowing I'm going to need them the day before I move in order to take apart the furniture I already own. Thankfully, I labelled all the boxes this time, so I just have to find the right one.

*So named for my little sister, who has a tendency to pick out something she wants, take it to the till, and find that it's being sold for about half of what she was expecting to pay.

2. I've succumbed to the mass fandom diversion to Merlin (as if there was ever any doubt I would - it has wizards, sorcery, Anthony Head and a dragon). It's a lot funnier than I was expecting, and may explain why I haven't got anywhere with my sg_flyboys fic, having spent today reading Merlin fic instead.

3. Of the good: I have a long femslash plot for SGA. Of the bad: I also have a het plot. I don't write het! At all! And I suspect that it will bring the Rodney lovers to demand my head on a pike, and probably also make the Keller haters think I agree with them. It may also require me to actually watch more than the first minute of Brainstorm. Despite all this, I desperatly want to write it, if only to make up for all the fic that has Keller as some kind of evil witch who's wrecking Rodney's life when he should be with John (because Rodney isn't ever complicit in their relationship, it's all Keller's fault. If SGA were merged with Merlin, she'd be Nimueh).

Actually, both of the ideas require me to watch Brainstorm, and the first one requires the one about the runner, the name of which escapes me. Sigh.

4. Three days from now, I will be home for Christmas, and as badly as Christmas went last year (oh, so very badly, especially considering my faher didn't find out that I came out to my grandmother by letter a few months before. Which, hey, fate's probably saving that for *this* Christmas, so I can uphold my reputation as the bad daughter. Excellent), I don't care because I'm homesick and I miss my mum, and I actually cried at the end of this week's Criminal Minds, which is nothing if not a sign that I need to go home for a few days.

5. I'm off to write about John, Cam and Alex, and snow, and hot chocolate. And possibly make myself hot chocolate to go with it.

Atlantis news: don't want to talk about it, don't want to think about it. So much for this week not getting any worse.

( Cut because I suspect I'm going to want to pretend I never said any of this; this is my brain in crisis mode )

Okay, so, me and reviews, crit, feedback, recs etc:

As a general rule, with one or two notable exceptions, I actually like the stories I produce. I'm pleased with them, for whatever reason, and I want everyone who reads them to be pleased with them as well, to like them and to not feel like they wasted their time reading them. Positive feedback makes me happy, seeing something I wrote being reviewed highly or rec'ed makes me happy.

( That said... )

I think I wandered a bit off the point there, if I had a point to begin with (debatable!), so maybe this is the summary: if you post it publicly, you have to be prepared for people reacting to it in whatever way they choose. If they do this anywhere other than your journal, or the community where you're the mod and can set the rules, you don't have to like it, but you do have to live with it. This is the price you pay for all the people who tell you they love what you've written and rec you far and wide. You might like to have one without the other, but, sorry, you can't.

But in case you've ever wondered: pretty much all the content in this journal, baring maybe two entries, is unlocked. As far as I'm concerned, with my own content, posting it unlocked means free rein (reign?) to anyone to comment, criticise, recommend, review, link, disagree, say nice things, correct my spelling, tell me what they liked/didn't like or anything else. Here, or somewhere else, and maybe I'll argue back, and if you get really rude in my journal (which, yes, is an arbitrary thing that I'll define on any given day) you'll get slapped down, metaphorically speaking, but the chances are, I'll go hmm, think about what you said and not do it next time.